I mean, to be honest, I still haven't been able to populate this list with really worthy items, or accomplishments that I would be proud of, or look back on and do that weezing, crying laugh that only happens when shit's too funny for just a chuckle. I debated 'enlisting' in soccer camp, get back on the horse that I thought I had shot once I finished high school, but looking back on the last 10 years that I've wasted, and the horrors I've inflicted upon my body, with smokes, drugs, penises, booze and Doritos (did I mention penises?)...thaaat'll be more of a monumental task then a worthy goal. (...yes I had soccer-player's thighs-o-steel thanks to my 7 years of playing defense and goal).
I've also accomplished a couple of things that I hesitated putting on this list, for fear that they would seem shallow: I've since gotten engaged (despite my vitriole-filled spew-fest a couple of posts back), which, I'm happy as a pig in shit about, tyvm; I've also managed to lose a small-baby's worth of weight in the last year, which I'm pretty freakin stoked about, too. (Yeah! Take THAT fat-baby!! Uhn! *does a bit of chair-dancing*)
But, while we're on the topic of shallow, I found the following linky-gem while surfing the tubes today, which has prompted me to post (after the jump).
It sort of goes along with the complete PSYCHOTIC PEOPLE post that BigBoy pleasured us with *inappropriate moan* the last time...(did anyone else completely spew chunks in their mouths after reading that?! Like, not just threw up like, a little bit...but actually...oh, never mind...) Having known the Un-named Monkey Man (who will be affectionately referred to as Senior CrazyPants henceforth), I actually have the ultimate pleasure of picturing this mental-monstrosity while he is engaged in this acts of Bi-polar, drug-fuelled psychosis, giving me an all-too-unwanted image that I never had before. Can you say "THINGS YOU CAN'T UN-SEE!!"?? It's given me pause to wonder "who the fuck stays friends with a retard like that!?" Well, we know. At least I do. Maybe BigBoy, but you can never be sure with that one...she's a bit of a "loose canon", if you know-what-I-mean.
Anyway, while trolling the InnerNette, as I am prone to do while deep in my boredom, and reading the loads of absolute bullshit about weddings, and the WIC (Wedding Industrial Complex, for those in the know...yeah, I'm one of THOSE brides-to-be), I found this.
It combines all 3 elements I've been flapping my lips aimlessly about this entire post: Found it on a women's "wedding advice site", where there's loads of garbage about how to loose 100 lbs. in 2 weeks for your wedding, and so forth; it fits rather nicely into my droning on about 30 things to do at 30, AND, andandand, my fave, answers the age-old question of "who the fuck stays friends with Senior CrazyPants after his second, VERY public, VERY messy, VERY OBVIOUSLY PSYCHO "breakup" with a girl that was WAYYYY too good for him." (I'm beginning to think he ONLY does that to girls that are WAY too good for him...I think he does it in an attempt to tarnish their awesomeness...but he only reinforces it, in the long run. Yeah...sloppy kisses to both of you ladies. You're amazing, and now ROCK solid after dealing with that). Reading this link, I think most people will laugh until they piss themselves, as they begin to form a mental image of what kind of person this refers to, and why someone like that would gravitate to someone like SCP.
The jump I promised...
And, quite honestly, if you're offended...bite my now-skinny ass. (Or we could talk about it, and why I'm so bitter and filled with rage...over a beer or something. Maybe some crudites and dip. Ooh! Some onion rings, even...)
Anyway, enjoy lovelies.
30 Things Every Woman Should Quit Doing by 30
